DeSoren Family

Our first Easter as a family as come and gone. And WOW, what a weekend.

First we should start with the passing of the Easter bunny. This took place Friday evening shortly after our dinner. A large red tail hawk swooped down from the sky and snatched up one of the many brown rabbits that live in the briar patch by our home. He then landed and proceeded to eat his dinner… all of this was watched by us and our six year old from the comfort of our home.

Jayme had a lot of questions about what was happening. We decided not to try and hide it but let him learn about what he had already seen. The whole event turned into a very good nature lesson. He was not grossed out, scared or upset. Not quite sure if he fully understood the fate of Mr. Brer Rabbit, but he loved watching the huge Hawk and keep making hawk sounds, trying to talk with the hawk outside. After Jayme’s interest waned, Joshua then took a shovel and tossed brer rabbit back into the briar patch….. “Time to be turning around”.

Easter Saturday’s weather was amazing. After breakfast we took Jayme shopping. 2 new light jackets, 4 new pairs of jeans, 4 pairs of shorts, 4 new t-shirts, some fun light up sandals and a pair of black dress shoes for our upcoming trip to Salt Lake City for Shiloh’s wedding. We then had to pick up some presents for uncle Sam, who’s birthday was the next day on Easter.

After our shopping trip we had a quick lunch at Chipotle and then had to go home to change clothes. Oh, no one was messy – we all were too HOT in pants and winter clothes. We then headed up to Powell Butte and did the mile mountain view loop. At first Jayme was not having a very good time, he informed us that his feet were broken. This of course changed once we got to the top and we got to see the cascade range and got to pet some horses that were out for a walk on the trail. On the way home we stopped off at Lent’s park to play in the playground. The weather was just amazing, it was the first really really nice day of 2011.

Once we got home Anthony and Jayme started to make Uncle Sam’s birthday cake, which they made from scratch not from a box. This confused Jayme a bit, as cakes come from cardboard boxes and all you have to add is oil, water and eggs.

Easter morning was a lot of fun. Jayme woke up and the first thing we did was look around the house to see if the Easter bunny was in the house. The weather outside had done a 360 and the rain was pouring, way to wet for any real egg hunting. Jayme searched his room, the bathroom, the laundry room, our room, even his own room. He then started down the stairs to the main floor, a the halfway mark  he started yelling excitedly

‘The EASTER BUNNY has been here!  LOOK LOOK!”

On the dinning room table a big basket of goodies was waiting for Jayme. His Grandmother (who he is so excited to meet in May) sent him some Thomas Train toys, candy and a green frog. The Easter bunny left a big pink (Jayme’s favorite color) basket filled with Hot wheel cars, candy and an egg coloring kit.

Because the weather so do yucky, we had an indoor day. We watched a lot of Disney Movies, played Wii and had some fun lego time. We also finished making Sam’s birthday cake. Jayme picked strawberry for the filling and we make some yummy chocolate buttercream frosting.

At 4:00pm Josh drove downtown and once Sam was home we had a nice Easter/Birthday dinner at home. Anthony made a pot roast with candied sweet potatoes and fresh veggies.

Now that was all the good. There was also a lot of not so good this weekend. Jayme had a very hard time hearing our words all weekend long. Because of that, we had a heavy parenting weekend. A lot of redirection, a lot of hands on time needed with him. Easter dinner took a pretty big detour as Jayme’s table manners and lack of hearing our words came to a head.

He is not a picky eater but has started to become one, from everything we have read and been told it is to test us and test the boundaries of his new world. Dinner times consist of us both constantly reminding him not eat with his hand, not to spit food on the table, not to drink all his juice at once to not and to please finish his veggies that he loves but now “hates”.

We are using all the love and logic tricks we know &  the threat that only empty plates get desert added to them. This has been working most of the time, but Easter was the breaking point for all of us. After getting several warnings and an escalating negative behavior Jayme got dismissed from the table and sent to his room, without desert and the birthday candle lighting ceremony that come with it.

It took two walk backs, and a long conversation in his room about why he was in his room. But it only took about 20 minute for Jayme to calm down, be ready to hear our words and us his good table manners. Once back at the table, it was like we had a brand new kid. Of course for poor Sam this caused a 25 minute pause in his birthday dinner, he was pretty understanding about the whole thing. He even commented that his dad would be proud of us.

We really feel if we can get over the meal time issues with Jayme, we will have turned a big corner in the road to progress for our family. We will see if last night’s line in the sand at dinner time helps or not.

Yesterday, Sunday the  17th, we took Jayme for his first visit to the beach.

To prep we had watched some You-Tube videos of the ocean. Having Jayme see where we are going before we go is really proving to be a HUGE help for us and for him.

We hit the road about 8:00am and drove down Hywy 26 to Canon Beach. Along the way we stopped at a lumberjack themed breakfast house. Jayme loved all of the old train equipment and the antique fire truck they had decorating their yard. The food was ok, nothing to write about.

We did not tell Jayme where we were going. Only that it would be a surprise for him. We parked in the Canon Beach parking lot and we walked (Jayme via piggyback on Anthony) to the beach. He was so excited and keep asking over and over where his surprise was. We turned the corner and started the approach to the beach which was obscured by a large wall. It was not until we were about 10 feet away that he saw the ocean for the first time. “IT”S THE OCEAN!!! AND A ITS HUGE SANDBOX FOR ME!!!!”

Jayme had a wonderful time digging and burying himself in the sand. We just wish it was a bit warmer so we could have stayed longer for him to play. He loves playing in the sand. He even asked if we could spend the night at the beach. We told him that we would work on a plan to do that soon.

After digging up half of Canon beach, we walked over the candy store and got some Salt Water taffy. Jayme got a small bag with at least one of every flavor.

Our next stop was down the coast a bit. Joshua brought his kites so we were looking for a beach with a bit more wind. We found a little beach that was all stones (our favorite type of beach) and spent 10 mins throwing rocks and small stones into the sea with Jayme.  Transitioning from events is pretty hard for Jayme at times so we had a small meltdown on the way back to the car. Jayme got very upset and started to cry because he did not want to leave the beach and go home. He didn’t think there was anymore to see and was very upset to have to leave.

Our next stop was an the overlook on Hywy 101 right before Manzanita. It proved to be a good stop as once again, Jayme could see where we were going (Manzanita beach).

Manzanita, proved to be very windy. So getting the kite up was a snap, in fact it was so windy all you had to do was hold it. This proved to be a bit too dull for Jayme who had found a hole with water in it, which he decided needed to be filled with sand at once! So as the adults held on to the kite Jayme played in the sand.

We then headed to our final destination Tillamook. But before we hit the factory the Dad’s needed some lunch.  So we stopped by the local subway for some simple sandwiches. First we had to DE-Sand the Jayme, who was bouncing all over the seats with happiness. We were so focused on Jayme no one noticed that as we entered restaurant the car lights where on.

After a ok lunch we all piled back into the car. Got all buckled in and started the car…. and started the car…. ahh started the….. car? The battery was dead.

So just to recap, we are at the coast, don’t have any jumper cables, we are not car guys oh and we have our new son whom the state has trusted with his care and protection. Two super dads felt like two horrible fathers in about 3 turns of a car key.

So as Anthony stayed in the car with Jayme, who was remarkably calm about the issue, Joshua headed out to find help. And help he did find. He found the ONLY gay in the village. As Jayme and Anthony keep looking for Joshua to return… what do our eye behold but Josh in a passanger seat of  a big truck with Dolce and Gabbana logo in the rear window. Within 2 minutes our car is running and our homo in shiny armor is driving back to the feed store where Joshua found him.

We drove around for 20 minutes to recharge the battery a bit and then hit the Tillamook cheese factory. 2 ice cream cones, 2 bags of squeaky cheese and some fun cheeses for the dad’s and uncle later and we are back on the road for home.

Mid morning Jayme’s school called. There had been a small accident at school. Jayme was running in his classroom and fallen down and whacked his mouth on a table on the way down. According to his teacher, there was some bleeding, which seemed to have stopped and he was complaining about a lot of pain.

Locating parental panic circuits…. parental panic circuits engaged….. begin PANIC!!!!

We had a noon meeting with Jayme’s team scheduled for later that day at Jayme’s school so we decided to hold back the urge to drive over at once and just pick him up together after the meeting. When arrived at the school we looked into Jayme’s classroom and saw him eating… so his teeth seemed ok.

But we still took him to see the dentist that afternoon after school. He of course didn’t want to see the dentist but they took really good care of him and there were no issues.. He thought it was really cool that he could see his adult teeth coming in on the x-ray and asked how soon he would see them.  The dentist (who specializes in small children) explained everything for him and even should him what various tools were used for.  All in all a very good trip..

Our first weekend as a family was a pretty good one. We are starting to get in to a rhythm now and the post placement behavioral honeymoon seems to still be in effect.

Friday was our civil anniversary so once Anthony got home from work, we all headed out to the Old Spaghetti Factory for our anniversary dinner. (Jayme is not quite ready for a fancy dinner yet.) We had a great dinner, Jayme did had some issues with waiting. He didn’t understand why we had to wait for our food, why it was not served to him at once.

So the first half of the meal was, “Where is my food?” He also did not seem to understand why he had to wait for everyone to finish eating before the ice cream came. Second half of the meal was all about reminding us that he wanted ice cream for desert and then prompting everyone to eat faster so he could get his ice cream. Joshua has started to mildly enforce table manors.  Jayme has a long way to go, but every day is getting a bit better.

Saturday was a big day for us. We took Jayme to the Mall to go shopping for some new clothes. We Jayme moved in he only had 3 pairs of socks, so Joshua and Sam did a emergency trip without Jayme to Target to get him some socks. What they came back with should have fit, but where kindof a bit  big for him. So not only did we need to get a new wardrobe we really needed socks that fit.

First stop was Macy’s for the sale. We found that size 4T fit, but the neck holes are too tight for him, so we got several cool shirts in size 5T. 4T pants are great on length but slip right off him, so we got him a cool belt. All in all we got about 8 new shirts, two pairs of shorts, NEW SOCKS, a belt and once pair of cool cargo pants.

We also had our first post placement interaction with outside people on this trip, well… people who opening commented and asked questions. We had a older sales lady who tried to help us and even followed us into the changing room. While checking out she asked in a kinda prying tone if all these new clothes where for his birthday or…..

Joshua was very blunt (no shock there 🙂 ) and told her we had just adopted Jayme. She wasn’t judgmental or anything. But it was kinda weird having someone ask about our family.

Jayme did really well with his shopping trip so we stopped at Jamba Juice for a snack and then stopped by Barnes and Noble for a new book. The children’s section proved to be too much for him and we had some pouting. So we quickly headed out.

Sunday, we took Jayme to the park and have a good time getting muddy and playing and running around the park. After lunch Jayme and Anthony looked at kid haircut photos and tried to find one that Jayme might like. As we looked Jayme describe a Mohawk….  so Anthony smartly typed in Faux hawk and even then Jayme wanted the most pointy and extreme version. Well after both dads told him that he needed a kid hairdo not an adult one, we had a meltdown. Full fake tears and screaming. After a quick 10 count head down and a small conversation about kid things and adult things he was able to sit back down and look at some kid appropriate haircuts. After a few minutes he found one he liked. We then talked to Jayme about what would happen at the salon. Joshua got down his clippers and put the blank guard on and let Jayme hear what they sound like and would feel like on his head. It took a few minutes for him to be ok with the sounds and he told us he wanted to get his haircut now. So Anthony and Jayme jumped in the car and headed to Supercuts.

We had been told that the reason Jayme’s hair was so long and oddly shaped was because of his sensory issues and his refusal to sit long enough for a full haircut. We had been told that going to a salon would out of the question for him as he would become way to distracted. Well, all of that might still be true, but today he was amazing. No crying or fidgeting. he even was ok with the clippers. He did an amazing job and when his hair cut was over he looked like a totally new kid!

When we got back home Joshua had a surprise for Jayme. After several days of unsuccessfully trying to play child appropriate Playstation 3 games that were just to advanced for him. Joshua bought Jayme a Wii…..

Ok I know what you are all going to say, we are spoiling this child. But if you could just see his face each time his little world gets a bit better, a bit more normal, you would too.