“Please wait outside. The council will now meet in secret, debate your personality flaws, and come to a final decision.” Hairspray
Stress, nervousness and that sinking feeling you get in your tummy. Monday morning was a very emotional morning. The committee meeting was set for 1:00pm. Just to recap, we are not allowed to attend the meeting, only our caseworker. So we stupidly went to work and tried to function like it was a NORMAL day, which is was not. If there is a next time, we are taking the day off.
Here is a discription of how the committee process works, shamelessly stolen from www.afamilyforeverychild.org
“The committee consists of three members who are usually DHS caseworkers, retired caseworkers, or social workers experienced in the adoption field. The committee meets for three hours, usually 9-Noon or 1-4 p.m. Occasionally it lasts longer, but not often.
Committee starts with a presentation of the child by the CW. Sometimes the child’s foster parent, therapist, court appointed special advocate (CASA), or attorney, is also present and invited to tell about the child as well. The CW usually brings pictures, or the child’s Life Book, so the committee can view photos. The goal is for the committee to have a thorough understanding of the child’s identity, personality, and special needs. The committee members may have questions during this time about the child based on what they hear, read, or otherwise observe.
Once the child has been presented, any representatives for the child, except the CW, are dismissed and the AWs for the families each have a turn telling the committee about the family they represent. Again, the committee members may have questions for the AW based on what they hear or what they have read in the family’s home study.
The committee members then remark on or list the strengths they heard or read about each family and the concerns they have about each family. Then they vote. If the two junior members each vote for a different family, the chair must break the tie with a vote for one of those two families so that we leave committee with a decision. We nearly always leave committee with a decision about who will adopt the child.
When committee ends, the families receive a call informing them whether or not they were selected by the committee.”
We got the call from our caseworker at 4:45pm, Anthony took the call on the cellphone as he was stepping on to the MAX.
The results, Second place. The committee liked us and it was a tough call. But they decided to place the kido with the other family due to our age and because we lived in Portland which would mean the kido would have a bigger change to deal with (new doctors, daycare, school, ect…). The other family lived close to where the kido was currently living.
We did get picked as the back up family. Which is like being the runner up at the Miss Americia contest…. if Miss American can not fulfill her duties… yadda yadda. If the other family backs out before they do the placement we would become the primary family. But at this stage it is very very very rare for the primary family to back out.
So we are back to square one. The whole event was emotionally like packing your bags, flying to Disneyland, walking up the front gate, getting your ticket out to get scanned and instantly being transported by some sort of super science fiction transporter device back to your desk at work and there is a large pile of nasty work to be done.
We both wanted an out for dinner and headed right to our own comfort foods. Anthony got taco bell, Josh had Spam and eggs..