One of the first “officialish” questions we were asked when we started our adoption journey was what type of a child we were looking to adopt. We were asked this by the caseworker who ran the very first intro class we attended. She walked the room asked everyone in the room the same question. Mostly to weed out those who were not looking for kidos that fell into the special needs program (like healthy babies) so she could route them to the proper classes and programs. But that question keeps being asked of you over and over throughout the process until you get to committee and then the question changes to “Why this child?” and you are completely dumbfounded again.
When we were asked back then on day one we answered “We want a boy aged 4-8”, her reply was “Great! We have lots of those…” (this of course did not prove to be true). Back then I don’t think we could really answer the why yet. Our pat answer to why was a comic retort. We simply said we wanted to skip the diaper stage.But along the way we have learned more about ourselves and can now better answer the why.
For us there are several reasons why we want to adopt a little boy (or boys). Some as simple and basic as the primal male need to have son. There is also more complicated and more noble reasons like the love we have found interacting and reaching for that teachable moment with kids of that age. And lastly the simple honest reasons that we are both still little boys ourselves. But, a new mind numbing and wallet exploding reason to only adopt a boy came crashing into our world this weekend.
One of the cable tv stations was doing an afternoon of bride shows. Normally Joshua refuses to watch those types of shows as Anthony loves to watch and laugh at the Bridezillas. But this time the shows were not of out of control brides but of clueless brides getting surprise wedding makeovers. So both of us sat on the sofa and watched several episodes while playing on our iPads.
After the first episode, both of our inner diva’s came out and we were actively commenting on the poor dress choices, nasty colors, pig bridesmaids, ect. But the pinnacle moment came when one of the bride’s chose a tiara to wear and we both cried out in unison, “That’s not a tiara, that’s a headband!”
Later in the day after expressing our very vocal opinions over a $10k flower choice that we felt was just simply not enough, a slow and scary realization came to us both, that we would be bankrupted from the million dollar wedding that we would force upon our poor daughter.